Helping Kids Behave
Part Thirteen


·         STOP doing, what you are doing, if it is causing a problem.

·         THINK of another better choice of behavior.

·         TELL yourself to make the better choice.

·         REWARD yourself for making a better choice.


·         Take a calm, rational approach to the situation.

·         Actively listen to the other people involved.

·         Express your feelings using the guide above

·         Acknowledge the other points of view that are expressed.

·         State your willingness to negotiate and compromise.

·         Find a solution that is beneficial to all the people involved. 



·         LOOK at the other person.

·         SPEAK with a calm low voice. Don’t yell.

·         STAY relaxed. Use the strategies for self-control outlined above.

·         Clearly STATE your opinion.

·         Be sure to AVOID emotional terms.

·         LISTEN to the views of others.


One will also need to analyze the student’s behavior to determine what is controlling the behavior. 

A good explanation of how to do a functional behavior analysis in contained in the paper “Addressing Student Behavior: An IEP Team’s Introduction to Functional Behavioral Assessment and Behavior Intervention Plans.

By the Center for effective Collaboration and Practice. The paper stresses that you are looking for triggers. You are therefore looking for the students behavior, feelings and thought patterns.

The key questions are is the problem linked to a skill deficit or is there a lack of desire to modify the behavior. Ask is it possible the student is uncertain about the appropriateness of the behavior?

Does the student find anything to value in engaging in the appropriate behavior? Is the student trying to avoid a low interest or demanding task? Does the student consider current rules, routines, or expectations irrelevant.

In other words what is the payoff? What is the student getting out or the behavior? What does she obtain, escape, or avoid by acting the way he or she acts? One may

Helping Kids Behave Part Fourteen & Fifteen
Helping Kids Behave Part Twelve
Creative Counseling Home

Disclaimer: This website and its content is intended for trained licensed mental health professionals and school certified mental health professionals to use for their clients / students at their own discretion.

*If you ignore the disclaimer above are using these techniques on yourself and you feel any discomfort or upset it is highly suggested that you seek out a licensed  mental health professional immediately.

"Beyond Art Therapy" is the concept from Dr. Stangline that combines all creative fields in therapy. It is not the traditional "art therapy" but goes beyond to include sand tray therapy, play therapy, mindfulness, meditation, color therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and a vast majority of other therapies.

For any other type of mental health emergency call your local 911 / Police Number immediately.

Dr. Stangline does not offer advice / suggestions to anyone who is not a professional mental health provider, or a student who is studying this field and has questions about mental health programs of study.

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