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Bullying Prevention Advice for Parents, Kids, Therapists, and Teachers, and School Counselors.
I have been a counselor for over fifteen years now. I have worked in the private practice sector, a mental institution, and as a school counselor for elementary and middle school kids.
I am going to tell you what I see going on with bullies and their victims. Yes, I said "victims". I know I am supposed to use the politically correct word of "target". But that does not help when I use that word.
However, I see that bullying is a two way street. It takes a bully and a victim to allow bullying to happen. A "target" takes none of the responsibility for the bullying. Let me explain...
I see all kinds of kids as a school counselor. Some of these kids are "bullies", some are the "victims", and some are the "victim bully" or "bully victims". Some of the kids I see are resilient and don't allow the "bully" to get to them.
The bully will leave this "resilient kid" alone and go find a "victim". I see it happening every day.
I see kids who are in the "victim" role and if you put them in any school in the world they would still take on this role. There is some strange phenomenon going on with this.
It is as if they wear an invisible shirt saying "victim" on it. The bully is naturally drawn to them and will select this kid to bully.
The bully is in the same situation. If the bully goes to any school in the country or world he or she will continue to bully.
Then we have the child that has been bullied and will bully back because that is what they learned. This is a hard situation because we can't tell who started the bullying.
I have been in many schools and I see that the administrators work very hard to stop "bullying". I can honestly say that they try their best to make sure all kids are safe and happy (At least in my schools).
Bullying happens at public schools and upscale expensive private schools. I know because I have worked as a counselor for both settings.
We (parents, teachers, and counselors) must teach our kids how to handle bullying in the correct format. We need to be teaching and empowering our kids how to handle the "bully" or "bullies".
If we do not teach this then we are allowing kids to get bullied and picked on. Even worse than this we are allowing our kids to develop an unhealthy and weak self-esteem core. This will have a negative effect on the child the rest of their life.
I am going to explain to you what you need to do to help your child deal with bullies effectively. If you are telling your child to go "hit" or "beat up" the bully you are doing major damage to your child.
If you are the type of parent who handles the bully yourself or who overreacts to any type of "teasing" that your child endures you are also doing major damage to your child.
Hold on, let me explain myself. First I need to tell you my story and how I came up with the coping skills and bullying prevention plan I now teach kids in elementary and middle schools.
Click the link below to continue to the next page:A School Counselor's Story on Bullying Prevention
See Bullying Prevention Coping Skill Card Set: Help Teach Coping Skills. Created by Dr. Stangline and used in many schools and homes across the country:
Disclaimer: This website and its content is intended for trained licensed mental health professionals and school certified mental health professionals to use for their clients / students at their own discretion.
*If you ignore the disclaimer above are using these techniques on yourself and you feel any discomfort or upset it is highly suggested that you seek out a licensed mental health professional immediately.
For any other type of mental health emergency call your local 911 / Police Number immediately.
Dr. Stangline does not offer advice / suggestions to anyone who is not a professional mental health provider, or a student who is studying this field and has questions about mental health programs of study.
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