Okay Everyone, it is time to learn some new tips to stop the bullies in your life!
I have been teaching kids, teens, and adults how to stop bullies of all ages. Now I want to help you.
But first I need to introduce you to my bully prevention assistant. His name is Bully Wolf and he helps me teach kids (and adults) how to stop bullies in an assertive way.
Bully Wolf has a story. He was actually a puppet in my first grade classroom. When I became a counselor I started to use him as an assistant for bullying prevention.
The story goes like this: Bully Wolf was one of my first grade students who used to be a bully to other students. Over the years he realized the errors of his ways and wanted to change.
He now helps me help elementary school kids learn effective bullying prevention techniques and use them in the school setting.
I go on our "local school news" every week with Bully Wolf and we teach kids one new technique for how to react when they are being bullied. We role play this technique and I get kids to try it when they are being bullied.
The kids adore Bully Wolf and he has become a local celebrity. The kids may not always know my name, but they know his. When I walk through the hallways with Bully Wolf the kids go crazy and have to pet him.
When I walk through the hallways without him the kids always ask, "Where is Bully Wolf?" or "We want Bully Wolf!" He is a very powerful symbol for kids and has helped many of my students stop bullying for themselves and other kids they see being bullied.
Before I teach you some of these techniques I need you to know that being aggressive and being passive will not work if you are being bullied.
The only thing that will work is using your emotional intelligence. Yes, your emotional E.Q. is what you need to stop a bully. This is also a part of you that is "assertive".
When we are assertive and use our E.Q. we are not hurting other people and we are not taking on a victim mentality. This is the key to bullying prevention.
Emotional intelligence is just as important as your I.Q. intelligence. People who have a higher E.Q. work better with other people. They get paid more, keep their jobs longer, have better relationships with others, and are happier in life.
Don't you want that for yourself or your kids?
If you are teaching your kids to be passive or aggessive you are hurting their chances now and later in life. Kids who are aggressive are not as happy in life. They have difficult relationships with others. The same is said for the "passive" child.
So please do not tell your child to go and "hit" or "bully back". If you hit or bully back in school you will also get in the same amount of trouble as the bully.
You and your kids need to be smarter than the bully! Let me teach you how.
Also, here are two other types of bullying prevention tips that will not work. The first one is the "I" messages. These messages won't work because the bully does not care how you feel. Only about 12% of personality types (Blue Color Personality: Touchy Feely) will respond to these types of messages. And these types of people usually are the ones who get bullied because they are sweet and kind.
The next thing you need to know is that you can't just walk away from a bully. I suggest that you try this only once. It will work if you don't know the person and hopefully you won't see them again. An example of this is "road rage". You should ignore the person who is bullying you when you drive. Drive away. You don't need that stress in your life and you probably won't ever see that person again.
If you see the bully a lot you need to set an assertive boundary for them. You need to be able to say with words and body language, "Don't bring your bullying over here into my space!"
Boundary setting is very important and so is body language. This is why you need to role play and practice.
Let me help you and your kids deal with this issue called "bullying prevention".
Trust me, you will be glad that you have helped your child deal with bullies and build a healthy self-esteem that will help them now and later on in life.
Disclaimer: This website and its content is intended for trained licensed mental health professionals and school certified mental health professionals to use for their clients / students at their own discretion.
*If you ignore the disclaimer above are using these techniques on yourself and you feel any discomfort or upset it is highly suggested that you seek out a licensed mental health professional immediately.
For any other type of mental health emergency call your local 911 / Police Number immediately.
Dr. Stangline does not offer advice / suggestions to anyone who is not a professional mental health provider, or a student who is studying this field and has questions about mental health programs of study.
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