ReThink It ©
A Positive Behavior Management Program
for School Students
(Ages 5 to 15)
ReThink It© is a positive behavior program created for teachers, counselors, administrators, parents, and especially children. This program is based on several principals from School Counseling and Play Therapy. I have been a play therapist and a school counselor for many years.
I have tried every behavior modification program ever written. The problem was that the people who wrote these programs only saw children for an hour a week in private practice, or tested them once for psychological testing.
As a school counselor, I have seen many children with severe behavior problems for several hours a day up to 180 days a year. I have worked with teachers in elementary and middle school to try to help these children with behavior issues learn how to behave in school. It is difficult to see children, for whatever reason, struggle in the classroom. Poor behavior can really hurt a child’s self esteem. Lower self-esteem can have a tremendous effect on a child’s life.
It is also hard to watch teachers get frustrated as they try to teach, but can’t due to a student with difficult behavior. For many years I have researched and tried various behavior plans to help students. I have also taught teachers, parents, administrators, school counselors, and students what I learned. I am sad to say that most of the time these behavior plans did not work for teachers, school counselors, administrators, and students.
One of the most important things I learned in this research is that "behavior" is a form of communication for all humans, not just young children. When human beings act out they are trying to say, “Something is not right in my world. Help Me!”
Life would be so much easier if humans could just say this "Help Me" instead of acting out through poor behavior. Poor behavior is how some people communicate when they don’t know how to express themselves with words.
So, the very first thing adults need to do is reframe what they think about children when they misbehave. When a child misbehaves the first thought in an adults mind (parent or teacher) should be:
“This child is telling me that he / she needs help and is afraid. What is it that they are they trying to tell me through their behavior? ”
Then it is up to you, the adult, to solve the mystery of what the child is trying to tell you. You have to put on a detective hat and try to find the root of the behavior issues. The root of misbehavior is always“fear based”. Even spoiled children have a “fear base”. The fear is that they will not get their way. All negative behaviors come from fear. These include anger, rage, hate, anxiety, depression, etc.
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